


We Can Still Work This Out

by Cantthinkifname



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, Declarations Of Love, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Iwaizumi Hajime is a Good Friend, Kuroo Tetsurou is a Good Friend, Protective Iwaizumi Hajime, Protective Kuroo Tetsurou, Reader-Insert, Songfic, Spies & Secret Agents, True Love, originally posted on Quotev
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-03-03 06:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24070087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cantthinkifname/pseuds/Cantthinkifname
Summary: At the beginning of the relationship, everything was wonderful and everything was great until he started becoming distant with you. You wonder if it's something you did. You think he stopped loving you and you're starting to get fed up with it. You need to the truth or you're leaving.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Reader
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter One

_**Right from the start** _

* * *

  
  
  
  
You laughed loudly, looking over your shoulder and running away from your lover. You notice the small smile on his lips as you ran away from him in the field. You let out a squeal, feeling hands on your waist and lifted you off the ground. You let out a laugh, being turned around and being met with the face of your lover. Akaashi Keiji. 

Akaashi Keiji is your first love. You met him through your childhood friend, Kuroo Tetsurou, and you kept noticing the quiet boy around the city. He rarely smiles or laughs, but he'd shown you those rare antics of his. He confessed his feelings to you two and a half years ago and you've been happy since then. You two live in the same house because your house got raided one night by bandits. This worried Akaashi and he said that you could live him with. 

You still don't know Akaashi's job. Every time you ask him, he'll change the subject or stay quiet. You stopped bothering to ask him and you got yourself a job. Just a simple job. Working in a pastry shop, being one of the chiefs. It's a fun career. You're close friends with one of the waiters, Sugawara Koushi. He's the sweetest person you've met and he's partner, Sawamura Daichi, sometimes come over. You find their relationship so cute, fangirling every time they kiss or hug. 

All right, back to what's currently happening. Akaashi wrapped his arms around you, leaning his forehead against yours. He's so happy he's dating you. He's glad that he has someone like you in his life. Even though his job can get stressful and he's extremely happy that he has someone to go home to. Oh, he loves you with his whole heart. He loves everything about you. How kind you are no matter the person. How supportive and accepting you. If he had to pick between you and him to live, he'll pick your life over his without hesitation. He'll give himself up in a heartbeat if it means that you'll continue to live.

"You caught me," you giggle, pecking his nose and he flashed you his rare smile.

You smiled widely, wrapping your arms around his waist and snuggling into his chest. These moments is what you cherish the most. Remembering each curve in his smile, the hardly noticeable wrinkles in his eyes when he smiles. Everything about him screams perfect, but you know even perfect people have flaws. Oikawa does and you seen right through him a couple of times. 

"Do I get a reward?" Akaashi whispered, pulling you closer to him. 

"Maybe," you mumbled, putting your hands on his shoulders and leaning close to him.

Akaashi leaned down until his lips connected with yours. He held you gently, holding the back of your head. You two pulled apart, Akaashi draping his arm over your shoulders as you two watched the sun set.

You and Akaashi would watch the sunset, every Friday and Sunday. Going out to the fields, watching the sky turn to different colors, watching the clouds, and enjoying each other's company. You've always watched the sunsets since your mother died on Friday when you were 5 years old and your father died on Sunday, when you were 10 years old. Since then, you were adopted into Kuroo's family, but you wanted to keep your last name and they respected that.

When Akaashi found out, he decided to join you and wanted to know more about you. You found out that he lost his father when he was younger and you know what's it like to lost a family member. Akaashi had to grow up faster than he needed to and he lost his childhood. You and Akaashi would visit the beach, staring off into the ocean while Akaashi would stand in the ocean with the water reaching his knees.   
  


* * *

_**You were a thief, you stole my heart** _

* * *

  
  
  
  
You let out a yawn, opening your eyes and sitting up. You looked around the room, noticing that Akaashi isn't in the bed with you. You let out a whine, getting out the bed and you notice the [Fav. Flowers] on the nightstand. A smile spread across your face, gazing at the flowers and you rubbed the petal gently. You walked out the bedroom, seeing no one in the living room or kitchen. You let out a sigh, sitting down on the couch and bringing your knees to your chest and resting your arms on your knees. 

You never really liked waking up with Akaashi not next to you. It's happen before and he's usually with Kuroo or his best friend, Bokuto, but sometimes he won't be home until you've fallen asleep and he'll leave again the next morning. He's told you it's because of his job and his boss keeps working him over time, but sometimes you're uncertain if it is his job. You don't want to doubt him, but you can't help feeling that doubt. You let out a laugh, remembering how shy Akaashi was when he first asked you out. 

He kept blushing at the first time you two kissed or cuddle. He was such an innocent ~~owl~~ boy. After a while, he got used to it and he stopped blushing. Akaashi makes you feel like you're walking on air. Yes, he may say witty remarks or say things bluntly, but that doesn't bother you. He always makes you feel love, sometimes he'll give you a peck on your temple or forehead. The little things he does to you makes you feel special and love. 

Before you moved in with him, sometimes he'll visit you at night. You always wondered how he'd be able to get to your window since it's on the second floor, but you decided to not ask. He'll drop by your house, probably lay next to you and watch one of your shows on Netflix. He'd usually stay with you until you fell asleep and he'll exit from your window just like how he entered through your window. 

Sometimes Kuroo would come over and keep you company, but there was one time Akaashi got angry at Kuroo. Akaashi thought Kuroo was flirting with you, but he had to remind himself that you and Kuroo see yourselves as brother and sister. That was the first time you've seen Akaashi express anger. You know that he doesn't really show that much of emotions since he's always calm and composed. Akaashi is usually calm, quiet, and happy when he's around you, but he doesn't really express the happy emotion.  
  


* * *

**_And I your willing victim_ **

* * *

  
  
  
  
You let out sigh, leaning against the counter in the pastry shop while Sugawara walked around and took orders. Your break should be coming up soon because Yachi just walked in with a flowery aura around her. She walked towards you, stopping in front of the counter and she motioned you to lean closer. You did.

"[Name]-chan, there's a stranger outside the shop. He's wants to speak with you," Yachi whispered, giving you a wink.

A stranger? Who would want to talk with you? You shrugged your shoulders, going around the counter and walking towards the door. Maybe it's Akaashi. The thought of Akaashi dropping by the shop made you smile and pick up your pace.

You stood outside the shop, seeing Akaashi stand on the sidewalk with his head turned to the side. His hands in his jean pockets with his white shirt and jean jacket. You jogged over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and feeling his arms encase around you. "Keiji, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you didn't burn down the shop," Akaashi said, giving you a small smirk and you pouted.

That almost happened when you fell asleep while baking a cafe and you didn't hear the alarms going off, but luckily Akaashi decided to come home that day and saved the day also.

"That was one time! Besides, I'm awake," you mumbled, pulling apart and flashing him a smirk.

Akaashi scoffed, knowing that you have a short attention spam. He was talking to you once and he glanced to his side, finding that you're gone and he looked over his shoulder, seeing you chase after a butterfly to take a picture of it.

"You might doze off and burn down the shop. You never know," Akaashi chuckled, tousling your hair and giving you a small smile. "I just wanted to stop by. I have to go back to _work._ "

The smile disappeared from your face and you looked down. There's that word again. _Work._ You're not sure if it is work, but you don't wanna ask questions. Will he ever tell you what his job is? Only God knows the answer to that. He's may not be proud of the job he has and he's too embarrassed to tell you, but your gut tells you otherwise. You quickly gave him a bright smile, hoping he didn't notice the disappointed look on your face.

"Sure! There will be dinner for you when you come home."

But he did notice that look of disappointment.   
  


* * *

**_I let you see the parts of me, that weren't all that pretty_ **

* * *

  
  
  
He's seen you banter with Kuroo off and on. Seeing the pout on your face when Kuroo would win the silly arguments. He's seen the childish side when you'd be with Bokuto, doing stupid pranks and dares. He remembered the night that you three ran away and hid in the shadows from the cops. He's seen the moments of sadness in your eyes, being there to comfort you. 

He's seen you go to town on a girl in a club. He's never seen you so violent in his life. He's seen you jealous. Akaashi finds you so adorable when you're jealous. He's seen that clingy side of you, that's his most favorite side. When you're clingy, you pout and clutch his arm or hold him by his waist. He's heard you singing in the shower, knowing that you're not confident in your voice, but to him you sound like an angel. 

Akaashi finds you so intoxicating. Especially in the bedroom. Seeing you so flustered and how embarrass you'd get. All the things that you don't find perfect about yourself, Akaashi finds them adorable and beautiful.   
  


* * *

**_And with every touch, you fixed them_**

* * *

  
  
  
Akaashi helped you to be more dependent on people. He took the small steps. He made sure that you could depend more on him than yourself. At first, you didn't want to be a burden on him, but he's reassured you multiple times that you aren't a burden. For a while, you started working on being dependent and having it balance with your independent side. Akaashi has not let you down and he's not planning to let you down never.

He taught you how to love yourself. You didn't love yourself or your body. You did try to change your body, but it didn't go well and that cost you landing up in the hospital because you over-exercised. Akaashi listed so many things about why you should love yourself. He changed the perspective on yourself and you're happy he did. He's done so many things for you and you did so little for him. 

He made you more of an optimistic than realistic. He made the world brighter in your eyes, showing you the wonders of each life and what everyone should value the most. Life. Through his eyes, you've been more conscious about other people's lives and wonder what they're going through and what's happening in their life. He'll speak his mind to you about his thoughts like that. When he expresses his thoughts about life, it makes you think more and enjoy what the future will be for you.

If it weren't for having Akaashi or Kuroo in your life, everything would be white, black, and grey. You wouldn't care if you died and you'd know for sure no one would cared if you passed away. Your view of life was very poor, never smiling because you had no reason to, but now you do. 

He made your depression disappear. He made all your negative moods and emotions disappear. He made your positive emotions burst into life. He cracked down that mask and walls you put up. He made you laugh genuinely and you gave him a genuine smile and he returned that smile to you. You fell in love with his smile, actually being able to tell between an genuine smile or a fake one. He rarely gave you or anyone, in that matter, a fake smile. It's not in his nature, but it is in his nature to show less emotions and to express them.  
  


* * *

_**Now you've been talking in your sleep, oh, oh** _

* * *

  
  
  
  
You returned back to the bed after getting something to drink. You laid next to Akaashi, seeing him lay on his back and you turned your body to face him. You closed your eyes, hearing mumbles come from Akaashi. You sat up quickly, seeing a smile on his face with his eyes closed. You get that he's exhausted when he came home, but this is extremely new, Akaashi talking in his sleep. This is the first time you've heard him talk in his sleep.

"I love you... too," Akaashi whispered, turning his head.

You raised an eyebrow, wondering who he's dreaming about. Strange. You haven't heard him say I love you not once in your relationship with him. You were fine with him not saying it back to you, but sometimes you doubted that he actually loves you. 

You sat on the bed, sitting on your knees and staring at Akaashi's sleeping face. You heard him groan in delight and you looked down, a small frown on your face. 

"You're so beautiful..." Akaashi mumbled lowly.

He hasn't told you that either. Why is he saying this in his sleep, but not when he's awake. Is there something you did wrong during this relationship? You can't recall anything you did bad or know what you did bad.

"Your smile... beautiful..."

You glanced at him, biting your lip and the next thing that escaped his lips just made your world crumble.

"Miy..."

A gasp escaped your lips, hearing the first syllable of a girl's name. Tears swelled in your eyes, you got out the bed and ran to the living room. You sat on the couch, soft sobs leaving your lips and you covered your eyes. Your doubts are correct! He's seeing anyone woman. His _work_ is being with another woman for most of the day while you're at home waiting for him. You wanted to scream. You wanted to scream until your vocal cords are damaged. 

The one thing you didn't notice when you left the bedroom was the furrowed brows and angry expression on his face when he mumbled that name. If you have seen the expression Akaashi made when he mumbled that name, you'd think that it was someone he didn't like.  
  


* * *

**_Things you never say to me, oh, oh_ **

* * *

  
  
  
  
You sat on the couch, stayed awake the whole night and just staring at the blank screen of the TV. You know Akaashi is going to get up soon, probably going to go see _Miyumi_. Just thinking about her name in your head gives you a bitter taste. You want to ask Akaashi about what he was dreaming about, but you're scared he'll change the subject and that'll confirm your doubt about him cheating. 

You just don't understand. Why would he cheat on you? Is there something wrong with you? Maybe you exposed yourself to him way too much. Maybe because he's your first love and he wants someone who has experience in a relationship. Ugh, you don't know. You decided to ask him when he leaves the bedroom. 

Your heart dropped. Hearing the bedroom door open and you looked over your shoulder, seeing Akaashi walk into the kitchen. His hair tousled with his clothes slightly wrinkled. "I thought you went to work. What are you doing in the living room?" Akaashi asked, grabbing a bottle of water.

"We need to talk, Keiji," you sighed, standing up from the couch. 

Akaashi put the bottle on the counter, nodding his head. In the inside of his mind, he's freaking out so much. He's never heard you say that before and he's anxious about what you're about to say next. 

"I heard you say some things in your sleep. I was shocked because you said all these compliments, but you said a certain name. Miyumi. Who is she?" You asked, crossing your arms.

You need answers. You don't want to find out that he's cheating on you. You don't want to lose him.

Akaashi's eyes widen. He talked in his sleep? He didn't know he did that. He notice the look of hurt and sadness in your eyes. "She's a client. Nothing more and nothing less." He notice how you'd clenched your jaw, seeing you grip your hands into fists. "[Name-"  


"No, Keiji! You said things in your sleep that you don't even say to me!" You yelled, scrunching your eyebrows and the tears slid down your cheeks. You don't want none of that bullshit he said. You want the actual truth! If he's cheating on you, you won't be able to forgive him. "She's not something if you said her name in your sleep, Keiji!" 

Akaashi was gonna walk towards you, but you held out your hand to signal him to stop. Akaashi's eyes widen, you saw a flash of hurt swell in his eyes. He wants to hold you, rub your back and tell you the truth, but he's afraid what will happen next. He doesn't want to lose you.   
  


* * *

_**Tell me that you've had enough** _

* * *

  
  
  
  
"What is she to you, Keiji! I guess she's more important than me since you've been spending more time with her," you laughed bitterly, a small smile on your face. You scoffed, rolling your eyes and you looked to the side. "Is our relationship a joke to you? I guess I understand why you never say I love you to me. Because there's another woman?" Your voice wavered when you spoke, feeling the slightly burning in your throat to stop yourself from letting out the sobs. "I've had enough." 

You walked towards the front door. Akaashi's eyes widen and he felt his heart drop. You opened the front door, feeling someone grip your wrist and you looked over your shoulder. 

"[Name], I do love you! I've always had!" Akaashi shouted, hurt and sadness swelling in his eyes. 

You let out a small laugh, giving him a sweet smile. "You say that when I finally leave?" Akaashi's eyes widen, his grip on your wrist loosening and you walked out the house, closing the door behind you. 

Akaashi dropped to his knees, staring at the front door with his mouth agape and tears in his eyes. He does love you. He shows his love through his actions, but he will admit it that he doesn't want to say it in person. He doesn't want to say those three words due to his job. His father had the same job and on the same day his father passed, his father said those three words to Akaashi. 

Akaashi blinked, the tears escaping and rolling down his cheeks. Miyumi is nothing to him. Nothing at all besides an nemesis and a target. Akaashi punched the ground, slamming his fists on the wooden floor and his chest heaved with a choked sob. If he told you his job, you'd leave him. If he didn't tell you, you'd still leave him. But he has a decision to go after you, but he doesn't want to show his weakness.   
  


* * *

**_Of our love, our love_ **

* * *

  
  
  
  
You knocked on the door, looking down and waiting for someone to answer the door. After a couple of seconds, the door opened to reveal Kuroo and he raised an eyebrow.

"What's up?" Kuroo asked, stepping aside to let you in.

You haven't been over to his house in a couple of months and he can already tell something happened to you. Once you got inside, you broke down crying.

"Tetsurou, Ke-Keiji, h-he..." You were silenced when Kuroo wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. You gripped his shirt, crying into his chest and he rubbed your back. Kuroo let out a sigh, he wish he could say something, but he knows it's not his place to say. "There's another woman, Tetsurou!"

Kuroo tighten his arms around you, finding himself narrowing his eyes at the carpet ground. He knows exactly what you're talking about, but you misunderstood it.

"He said h-her name in his sleep! He mumbled compliments in his sleep!"

You and Kuroo heard a knock at his front door, both of you turning your head to the door.

"That's probably Akaashi. [Name], you should talk with him, but don't destroy anything in the living room," Kuroo said, tousling your hair and he let go of the embrace, walking towards the hallway.

You don't wanna face Akaashi. You don't wanna see him or talk to him. You're heartbroken. You're hurt. You're disappointed. You're probably going to go back to your depress self. You walked to the front door opening the door and a gasp escaped your lips as you felt arms wrap around you.


	2. Chapter Two

  
**_Just give me a reason, just a little bit's enough_ **   
  


* * *

You know it's Akaashi that's hugging you. Feeling his arms tighten around because he's scared to lose of the love of his life. He doesn't want to let go, fearing you'll walk away from you. You didn't want to utter a word while Akaashi held onto you, but you didn't return his embrace. He tightened his hold on you again, putting his hands on your shoulders and looking into your eyes. 

"[Name], that woman is nothing to me! You're the only one I love!" Akaashi said, a pleading look in his eyes. 

  
You notice his eyes slightly red. You want to comfort him, but you can't. You still doubt him. You know he loves you, but even a man in love could cheat on a woman if she's lacking something. You guessed you have something that you lack which made Akaashi cheat. 

You let out a sigh, removing Akaashi's hands away from your shoulders and you looked him in the eye. "I know you do, but that woman does mean something to you if you said her name in your sleep. You don't even tell me that you love me! Until I decided to leave, Keiji."  
  
Akaashi was gonna open his mouth, but he decided to keep it shut. He knows that he doesn't give you compliments or say I love you to you. He wants to, he really does, but he's just afraid. He wants to wrap his arms around you, comfort you and tell you how amazing you are, but your eyes are telling him to stay back. "[Name], please don't leave me," Akaashi mumbled, scrunching his eyebrows.   
  
"I'm wondering if I should or not, Keiji. I love you. I always will, but we need a break right now. I'm going to stay with my step-brother for a while," you said, walking past Akaashi and towards the sidewalk. You took out your phone, dialing your step-brother's number. 

"No, you're not. We're going to talk about us," Akaashi said, stepping in front of you and lifting you over his shoulder.   
  
"Let me go!" You yelled, hitting Akaashi's back and holding your phone in the other hand. 

  
Akaashi ignored your demands and walked back towards Kuroo's house. Once you stepped inside, Akaashi put you back down and closed the door behind him. You pouted up at Akaashi with your arms crossed and you ended the call before it went through.

"There's nothing to talk about, Keiji!" 

"Yes, there is! I need you, [Name]! I'm scared to lose you," Akaashi pleaded, hoping that he'll get you to stay with his words. If he has to tape you to the wall or a chair, he will if it gets you to stop leaving. "I'm terrified that I'll lose you." 

"Really? When's the last time you kissed me?" You asked, crossing your arms and raising the eyebrow.

It's been a month since Akaashi kissed you on the lips. He used to kiss you daily, but that turned to once a week to once every two weeks to a month. You want to feel love by him.  
  
Akaashi furrowed his eyebrows, looking down. He doesn't even remember, sadly. He's been tired with his job and sleepless nights. He's just grateful that he was able to come home to you safely.

He let out a sigh, dropping his shoulders and looking up at you. "I'm sorry, [Name]. I really am."

* * *

  
**_Just a second we're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again_ **

* * *

He sounded sincere. You believe that he is sorry, but you still doubt him. You let out another sigh and walked towards Akaashi. You wrapped your arms around his neck while your eyes stared at the wall.

"We're broken, Keiji."   
  
Akaashi tensed, hearing the sadness in your voice. He wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him and he held the back of your head. "Bent. We're bent, [Name]." 

  
Akaashi hoped, prayed, that you won't leave. That your relationship will be back to normal. That the relationship will survive this and continue. He closed his eyes, taking in your being and your presence. He won't let you go. 

"I'm gonna stay with my step-brother for today and probably tomorrow, Keiji, but I'll come home anyway," you mumbled, pulling away and Akaashi gave you a small nod.

You walked towards the front door, knowing that Akaashi is watching your form as you walked away from him. You opened the front door and walked out Kuroo's house.   


You're thankful that Kuroo didn't step in or say anything. You pulled out your phone again and dialed your step-brother's number once again. The call went through and you let out a sigh as you stood on the sidewalk. "Hajime, can you pick me up please?" 

_"Sure. Where are you?"  
_

"At Tetsurou's. I need to stay with you for one or two days," you said, looking over your shoulder to make sure that Akaashi is still inside Kuroo's house. And he is. 

_"All right. I'll be right there."_  
  
Iwaizumi Hajime is your step-brother. He's been your step-brother since you were 8. Your father married his mother and she was heart broken that your father passed away. His mother moved away and Iwaizumi stayed with his grandmother while his mother was away. You and Iwaizumi still call each other siblings even though your father passed away. You love Iwaizumi as a brother and sister way, even his childhood friend who annoys you sometimes.   
  
Iwaizumi's childhood friend, Oikawa Tooru, annoys you sometimes. But Oikawa and Iwaizumi, but mostly Kuroo, were by your side during the anniversary of your parents' death. Oikawa did annoy you and you would laugh when Iwaizumi would hit him, but you adore their relationship. Yes. Oikawa and Iwaizumi are dating. You knew that Iwaizumi had to be gay, but you never asked cause you didn't want to embarrass the boy. 

You know that their relationship is going better than yours. When you'd be over at Iwaizumi's house, him and Oikawa would cuddle on the couch and watch a movie with you. They sleep in the same bed and cook for each other, but it's mostly Iwaizumi taking care of Oikawa and putting up with Oikawa's split, fake personality. 

* * *

  
_**It's the stars, it's been written in the scars on our hearts**_

* * *

You sat on Iwaizumi's couch with your knees hugged to your chest while Iwaizumi is in the kitchen with Oikawa sitting on the couch next to you. You explained to them about what's happening between you and Akaashi. Both of them listened intently and Oikawa would nod here and there. You wonder what you should do about you and Akaahsi, but when you think about it, you can't help, but feel sad and disappointed. Oikawa patted your shoulder, catching your attention and he opened his arms out for you.

You broke down crying, wrapping your arms around Oikawa while his encased around you. He rubbed your back with a small smile on his face.

"[Name]-chan, do you believe in soulmates?" Oikawa asked, looking down at you.   
  
Soulmates? Of course you do. You're a hopeless romantic and you want to find your soulmate. You believe everyone has a soulmate. Probably more than one, but no one knows who's is their soulmate until they actually found the person that completes yourself.   
  
"I think Akaashi is your soulmate, [Name]-chan," Oikawa said, leaning back against the couch with you lying on top of Oikawa with your arms around his waist. Oikawa rubbed your head down to your back, sometimes playing with your hair while he held a genuine smile on his face. "Because both of you have lost a parent or parents. You make him feel love and he makes you feel love. He has your kindness and excited side to match with his calm and collected side. You may be opposite with him, but sometimes that's a good match for people." 

Iwaizumi leaned against the counter, watching his boyfriend and step-sister get along. Iwaizumi smiled, knowing that the advice that Oikawa gives to people makes them feel better. Iwaizumi must admit it though. Oikawa can bring out the best in people and help them open their eyes. Iwaizumi isn't mad at Akaashi for hurting his baby sister, but him and Akaashi's friends just want you to believe Akaashi about what he's saying.   


"You two aren't broken. Just bent and you can learn to love each other again. I promise you that you won't regret staying with Akaashi," Oikawa mumbled, knowing that you've probably fell asleep on him. He looked down at you, seeing your eyes closed and Oikawa let out a breathy laugh through his nose. Oikawa continued to rub your head while Iwaizumi made dinner.

"Even the most perfect love can break and be put back together, [Name]-chan." 

* * *

  
_**We're not broken just bent, and we can learn to love again** _

* * *

You opened the front door to your house, walking inside and closing the door behind you. You watched with wide eyes as Akaashi stood up from the couch and walked towards you. He wrapped his arms around you and held onto you tight. You noticed the bags under his eyes. You guessed that he slept on the couch and you can see the two cups on the coffee table. He probably stayed awake all night. You didn't hug him back. You wanted to lift your arms and return his embrace, but your mind is stopping you.   
  
Akaashi pulled away, you can see the look of hurt in his eyes clearly. You looked to the side to avoid meeting his gaze and you walked around him, going straight towards the bedroom. You just want to shower and let all your emotions out. You know that he's hurting. You know that you're hurting him and you feel terrible. 

You undressed completely and stepped into the already running shower. You had the water hit you back as you covered your face with your hands. Your shoulders heaved from the sob and quiet sobs. You didn't want to cry so loud that you might alarm Akaashi. You wish things would go back to normal. You wished you didn't hear Akaashi mumble that girl's name in his sleep. Maybe you should stay with Iwaizumi one more day, but you feel like might be a burn on him and Oikawa if you stay a little more.

You know that you have to stop avoiding Akaashi's affection and him, himself. You want to return his love so bad, but you still doubt him. You feel trash, believing that Akaashi cheated on you. You feel like you're dirty. You want to wash the doubt away from you and believe that he isn't. You wanna show him that you love him. You want to show him how much you love him and that you won't ever leave him for someone else.

He has his battles to fight and you have yours, but you both have to fight this one battle together if you want this relationship to continue.


	3. Chapter Three

  
  
_**I'm sorry I don't understand** _   
  


* * *

Akaashi doesn't understand. He knows that things wouldn't be the same like before, but he's trying. He's trying to make you believe him that there is no other girl. He's heartbroken that you won't believe him. He's trying his best. He's trying, but all his hardships are going to waste. He doesn't want to lose you. He doesn't want to lose of the love in his life. He regrets not telling you. He regrets not telling you how much he loves you. Akaashi is trying to distract himself with his work. Trying to get the thoughts of you leaving him out his mind. 

  
He wants to tell you what he does for a living, but he's scared of the outcome. He's scared you'll think he's a monster. He doesn't want you to view him poorly. He just wants your support for him. That's all. He's been coming home late and making your beliefs seem more true. He keeps telling you there is no woman, but you lost all faith in him. He knows you're hurting and it's hurting him. He wants to be the one to end your suffering, but yet he's the one making you suffer. 

He's grateful to his friends. His friends are the ones telling you that you should stay. That he's not cheating on you. If it weren't for his friends telling you this, you'd have left long ago. Akaashi will make you breakfast, run a bath for you. He hasn't earned a thank you at all. He hasn't earned a kiss or a simple hug from you. He's wondering if he should let his hopes down, knowing you won't give him affection. He's starting to hate himself for making you feel this way. He's starting to dislike himself for not making your suffering end. 

  
A new light shined in Akaashi's eyes. He's not going to give up. He'll just continue to make you believe him and he'll remind himself to at least show you affection. He'll leave sticky notes on on the refrigerator to remind himself and so that he's showing you that he's going to make an effort to you. He'll try to say I love you on a daily basis. He wants everything to go back to normal, but he knows that this won't be forgotten in the future. He's scared that you'll be taken from him, but he'll say it just for you. 

Akaashi wants to show you. He wants to show you that you're the only one for him. No one else. You're the only one who makes his heart skip a beat. That makes him blush from the little antics you do. He needs to hurry up and finish this job. The girl, Miyumi, she's a dangerous woman in Akaashi's eyes. She's smart and he's afraid that she'll go after you to stop Akaashi. He's been so stressed with the job, but he doesn't have any leads on her. She might have leads on him and the thought of you being taken from him is terrifying.

  


* * *

_**Where all of this is coming from** _

* * *

"Are you giving me affection because she left you?" You asked, crossing your arms as Akaashi walked into the house.

You hate seeing him be gone for so long because you know he's with that woman. You hate being treated like the back up. You hate feeling like this. 

"What? No!" Akaashi shouted, scrunching his eyebrows. He could see hurt in your eyes. It's as clear as the day. He stepped towards you, but you stepped back and hugged yourself.

  
"Why are you still with me?" You asked, feeling tears swell in your eyes as you looked to the side. "Better yet, why am I still with you?" 

  
You whispered that lowly, thinking that Akaashi didn't hear you, but he heard you. You know why you're still with him. You're in love with him, but you hate acting like this towards him. 

  
You don't like seeing the hurt expression on his face. You want to stop your actions, but you can't. It's your emotions that are taking over and you felt yourself trapped. You don't mean to say all these things, but you blurt them out without even thinking. You see his suffering. You want to stop him from suffering, but he's hurting you. You wish you could stop his suffering. 

"[Name], please. I'm not cheating on you," Akaashi said, taking another step towards you and you just stood there. He slowly made his way towards you, wrapping his arms around your sobbing form. "I won't ever cheat on you. I love you, [Name]. I'd give myself up for you." 

  
You didn't say anything. You felt his arms tighten around you and you didn't do anything. You didn't hug him back. You know you're shattering his heart and if you keep breaking him, he'll leave you one day. Your heart still believes he's cheating on you. You just want to wrap your arms around him and tell him that you believe him, but something his stopping you. 

"I promise you that woman means nothing to me. She's not the one that has my heart. You do, [Name]," Akaashi mumbled, the tears rolling down his cheeks. He tightened his arms around you again, hoping that you'll feel his love. He held back the sniffles, the loud sobs that want to escape his throat. He doesn't want you to see him break down.   
  
You want to believe that you're the one who has his heart, but how can you if he's been working so much. He comes home so late at night. He's rarely home during the week. How can you believe that? You cried into his chest, not daring to wrap your arms around you. You know he's trying to get his feelings across to you, but to you. His actions seem empty. You don't want to return his empty kisses and hugs. You want to feel a real hug, a real kiss from him, but he's been too desperate to give you affection.

* * *

  
_**I thought we were fine (Oh we had everything)** _

* * *

Akaashi knows that the relationship is not fine. He wants to fix it, but how can he fix the relationship he shares with you if you deny all his affection and attention. He's trying his best. Akaashi understands that it takes time to fix a relationship, but he can see the battle that you're having with yourself in his eyes. He wants to help you, he really does, but you keep rejecting his help. He's not sure what to do. He needs help, but he doesn't want his pride to be hurt. 

He keeps distracting himself with his job. He's best friend, Bokuto Koutarou, is staring to worry for his friend. Bokuto is noticing how reckless Akaashi has become during the jobs. He wants to comfort his best friend, but he knows he's hurting because of the relationship. If it was Bokuto's place, he'll tell you, but he can't because he knows it has to be talked between you and Akaashi. Oh, how much he wants to help his best friend. He just has to stand from the sidelines with his friends and watch it unfold.

  
Sometimes Akaashi will come home late, hearing you sob in the bedroom. On those nights, he'll sleep on the couch because he doesn't want to disturb you. He knows that you need comfort in those moments, but not from him. He wants to give you space, but he also wants to invade your space and give you the comfort that you're seeking. He's not sure if he can keep this going. He doesn't want to lose you and he won't ever cheat on you. He still loves you, but he feels like he's not the one for you. 

Akaashi has been reassured countless times that he's the one for you by Bokuto, Kuroo, and even Oikawa. They keep telling him that you're the one for him, but he doesn't feel like it. He believes their words are just empty. He hasn't seen you smile nor has he been the one to make you smile. Akaashi misses your beautiful smile that you'd show him only. He's not sure what he should do. He plans to take you on a date, but he's not sure if you'll go with him. He wants to makes this right, but you keep turning things down.

* * *

**_Your head is running wild again_ **

* * *

You did let Akaashi take you on the date. You barely showed affection to him, but the date was awkward. You didn't think that any dates with Akaashi would be awkward. It's either the both of you talking about endless things or fighting over small things. He held your hand during the date, walking around town with you and stopping at the beach. The air around you two is awkward and he'll break the silence by speaking up about something else. You didn't smile once, keeping your gaze down at the ground. 

"Keiji, I'm sorry," you mumbled, stopping in your tracks which made Akaashi stop in his. He dropped his hand from yours, staring at you with wide eyes. He notice the tears rolling down your cheeks. "I'm trying to believe you. I really am. I just don't want you to leave me." 

  
Akaashi felt a small smile spread across his face. He wrapped his arms around you and you returned his embrace which shocked him. Tears rolled down Akaashi's cheeks and he tightened his arms around you. He cried on your shoulder and you cried into his chest. 

"I don't want you leaving me for another woman, KeijI! I'm scared that you love her morn than you do me!" You sobbed, clenching his white dress shirt in your hands. 

  
"I wouldn't do that to you, [Name]," Akaashi sniffled, pulling away from your shoulder and giving you a smile. You nodded your head, burying your face into his chest.

* * *

  
_**My dear we still have everythin'** _

* * *

"Do you still think he's cheating on you?" Iwaizumi asked, both of you sitting on his couch.

While Akaashi went to work, you decided to go over Iwaizumi's house. Oikawa’s not home either because he works too. You scrunched your eyebrows, looking to the side and Iwaizumi let out a sigh. 

  
"I'm just scared he'll leave me, Hajime. He's probably with that woman right now," you said, looking down at your lap. "Keiji does hug me and kiss me, but they feel desperate. I'm the one hurting him, Hajime. I don't remember him giving me a real kiss." 

  
"[Name], just look at it like this. Akaashi works all night and comes home exhausted. You work during the day, but the shop is going under construction. At least he's putting up an effort of trying to give you attention," Iwaizumi said, resting his hand on your head since you're currently leaning against his chest. "Even that Trashykawa gets upset when I don't give him affection 24/7, but I'm tired from working."

  
"But don't you think that someone might take Tooru away from you?" You asked, staring at the TV with an emotionless expression.

  
"No, because he's gay and the way he looks at me is not the same that he gives others," Iwaizumi chuckled, throwing his head back and closing his eyes. "Of course I'm going to get jealous when someone flirts with him. Everyone does, but I have trust in that idiot."  


"I do trust, Keiji, but he spends a lot of time with his job. I wonder how many times he's spent with other women," you mumbled, closing your eyes. "He spends more time with work than he does with me."

  
"Just look at it this way, [Name]. You have each other. You're the one who has he's heart and no one else does," Iwaizumi yawned.

  


* * *

**_And it's all in your mind (Yeah, but this is happenin')_ **

  


* * *

Everything didn't return to normal. Akaashi hasn't kissed you and he comes home so exhausted. You don't even see him that much anymore. When he comes home, you'll already be at work and while you return home from work, he's already gone. This is hurting you. You want to see him, be able to hug him, but he's at work and probably with other women. He spends too much time with his work and barely enough time with you. He wants you to believe him that he's not cheating then he needs to spend more time with you. He hasn't been able to take a day off or even be on a vacation, but he tells you that he's trying to save up those days. 

You believe he's with other women. That he's spending more of his time with them rather than with you. That he's giving them all his hugs and kisses that have more feelings behind it. He's probably sleeping with other women because he hasn't even slept with in you in forever. You may be the one who has his heart, but he could want more women. You're probably not good enough for him. 

* * *

  
_**You've been havin' real bad dreams, oh, oh** _

* * *

Akaashi's been noticing that you've become distant towards him. When he has his days off, he'll wake up by himself in the morning and you'll won't say anything. He's not sure why you've became distant towards him. One night when he came home, he heard your loud sobs and he didn't understand why. He guessed that you woke up to a bad nightmare and he offered his comfort to you, but you declined. You're not telling him about your dreams. You've stopped talking to him.

  
He'll try to have a conversation with you, but the conversation would end so fast. He's not only failing you as a boyfriend, but also as a person. He's hopes are being crushed by you shutting him out. He doesn't want that to happen. He's noticing that you're starting to become depressed. He's trying his best to make you happy, but you turn down his actions. He's starting to loose his mind. Akaashi doesn't know how to help you besides trying to support you.   


He's not the only one who noticed your depressed state. When you sleep, he makes sure you didn't self harm yourself. If he found any signs of self harm, he wouldn't be able to handle it. He knows he's the reason you're hurting and if he's the reason you're self harming yourself, he'll probably have to leave for good. He may not like leaving you, but if you'll be in a better state, he'll do it for you.

  


* * *

_**You used to lie so close to me, oh, oh** _

* * *

When Akaashi would sleep, he'd notice that you won't lie next to him. Your back would be facing him. He misses your warmth. He miss it when you'd clench his shirt when you'd sleep. He missed waking up to see your sleeping face. He misses the kiss on the cheek when you'd wake up. He knows things won't go back to normal, but Akaashi is willingly going to try and fix everything, but he's gonna need help.

* * *

_**There's nothing more than empty sheets between our love, our love** _

* * *

"[Name], I want to fix our relationship," Akaashi said, both of you sitting in a cafe.

The cafe's atmosphere is helping calm Akaashi down. There's not a lot of people inside, but that's fine. Akaashi held your hand on the table, staring into your eyes while you stared down at the table.

  
"Fix what?" You mumbled, looking to the side. Akaashi's eyebrows scrunched and he squeezed your hand. "There's nothing to fix."  


"[Name], I know you're depressed. I want to help you," Akaashi said, his voice sounding desperate. He doesn't want to leave you in the dark. "You've been avoiding me."

  
"No, I haven't, Keiji," you mumbled, furrowing your eyebrows and staring down at the table.

  
"Really? Then why aren't you looking me in the eyes? Why are you not talking with me anymore?" Akaashi asked, pressing forward. 

He wants to know the answer to all his questions to help you. He wants to be your knight and shining armor.   


"Why won't you tell me what your job is? Huh!? You never told me anything about what you do!" You yelled, earning the attention of the people inside the cafe. You stood up from your chair, glaring down at Akaashi. "You want me to believe you aren't cheating, but yet you spend more time with your job that you've never told me about than with me!" 

"I'm not cheating on you, [Name]!" Akaashi shouted, standing up from his chair and staring at you firmly. "I've told you countless times that you're the one who has my heart!"

"If I'm the one who has your heart then why don't you tell me that you love me!" You asked, tears rolling down your cheeks. "You never compliment me! I bet you tell the woman that you love her and give her compliments! You know what, I'm done with talking to you! There's nothing to talk about!"  


Akaashi watched you leave the cafe, he ran after you and he left the cafe. He grabbed your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. "Wait, [Name]! Please!"

* * *

  
**_Oh our love, our love_ **

* * *

"Wait for what, Keiji! Wait for what exactly?" You sobbed, glaring at him with tears rolling down your cheeks. 

Wait for Akaashi to spend more time on his work? Wait for him to spend more time with women? Wait for him to not pay attention to you?

  
"I can't lose you!" Akaashi said, wrapping his arms around you. 

"I can't either, but it seems I already have," you said, putting your hands on his chest and pushing him away.

Akaashi's eyes widen, he could almost hear your heart shatter. You pushed yourself away from him, running off. Akaashi felt the tears roll down his cheeks, watching your figure disappear. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry if the in between lyrics are short and sorry for the missed spells  
> The song for this is 'Just Give Me A Reason' by Pink


End file.
